Pity this blushing bride-to-be

Pity this blushing bride-to-be: "Yes, according to Scientology doctrine, a galactic ruler named Xenu brought billions of people to Earth 75 million years ago, stacked them around volcanoes and blew them up with hydrogen bombs. Their souls then clustered together and stuck to the bodies of the living.
If I were Mrs. Holmes, I would also be pained by the fact that Cruise has hired a full-time Scientology assistant to go everywhere with Holmes, even sitting in on her interviews. It's no surprise that someone came up with a 'Free Katie' Web site and line of merchandise (freekatie.net). I would be its biggest salesperson.
And as far as the wedding goes? A Scientology wedding is like no other. The New York Post managed to unearth some language that will probably be used: 'Rejoice you line of struggling life from eons gone, for here again, your track is sped and winged into a future fate by this, the union of a man and woman, crossing this bridge, whose child shall pace a future span.' "